I have a dream for you…
The stage fright!
You probably know this feeling that blocks you from speaking up? That ball that squeezes your throat or grabs your stomach!
Especially when you are a novice in a language.
As a child, everything was easier to intervene and then…. Everything gets more complicated with time…
Some will be totally confident and others will have to work harder
The most important thing is to remember the stages of our evolution and add adult intelligence
Yes, because you may have lost your past Naivety but you have much more useful arguments now. So here are SIX Rules that should give you a significant boost to your learning.
First and INDISPENSABLE rule: You must smile and smile again
From the beginning!!!!!
One of the biggest mistakes a beginner, or even some speakers, can make is not to smile. I think there is nothing more unpleasant for us, the public, to hear someone talk to us without emotion on our faces.
Without any smiles, like a poker player who is only looking for one thing: to let as few emotions as possible show through.
So, yes, it is good to repeat that smiling is of vital importance because everyone knows it, but not many people apply it. So
smile as you wish. Don’t stop smiling. The more you smile, the more naturally it will come to you.
Of course, I am not talking about the forced smile that can be found in the old metaphor of the “commercial who
seeks to screw us over” with his false smiles and complacency towards us. NO! NO! I’m talking about a straightforward, sincere smile. A smile that shows you enjoy life: you, others, your presentation, the world…
A study shows that smiling is communicative, the more you smile, the more people around you like you and find you warm.
Practice smiling at strangers on the street and see how many people send you one in return. You will be surprised by the result. Imagine the effects this can have on your audience.
Indeed you will be more appreciated by it. It will find you warmer and more friendly and will have a much deeper desire to follow you in your ideas and projects.
Only having a smile all the time is not an easy thing. Indeed, we are emotional beings and are subject to both positive and negative emotions: stress, fatigue.
These negative emotions have a terrible impact on our body and mind.
Analyze the behaviour, the body of a person who does not smile and complains all the time:
She will be leaning forward, head down, arms usually crossed. How does this person inspire you? Do you want to talk to this person? To listen to him? To introduce this person to your friends?
Imagine yourself in the shoes of this person and become aware of the impact of the lack of smile and of a negative attitude on your speaking performance on the one hand, and the impact you have on your audience on the other hand.
Studies show that smiling is good for your health. The brain cannot feel two antagonistic emotions at the same time: anger and gratitude, or sadness and joy! The smile is the very example of the “positive attitude” for your body and brain! Indeed, smiling makes serotonin (happiness hormone) secreted in abundance in your brain and helps you feel better and more positive.
So don’t stop smiling! Over and over again!!!!!
Stress increases your heart rate quickly and allows you to escape a dangerous situation – facing a sword tooth tiger – for example.
A dose of stage fright is therefore beneficial for your speech.
Indeed, it is necessary to understand that it is a natural physiological phenomenon.
Only this one should be channeled through different breathing and relaxation exercises, to avoid it taking over your performance and presentation.
There is no cure for stage fright, it is tamed.
Through a better understanding of it and the will to overcome it, stage fright can become a real ally!
It is by the accumulation of small actions, assembled one after the other in the middle of the speaking that you will arrive at taming it. So get up from your chair and speak out in public despite the fear of speaking and the fear of failure.
Because it is by falling that we learn to get up again. And the more you fall, the better you will get.
Second and PRIMORDIAL rule: You must learn to breathe!
You can’t breathe. At least you’re not breathing very well. Imagine that your lungs are two pyramids. The top of your chest being the point, the base the middle of the abdomen.
The so-called “normal” breathing, the one you practice, is called upper breathing. Do the standing test with a deep breath:
If you lift your upper chest and shoulders, it means you have this type of breathing. Breathing with the top of your lungs prevents you from using your voice properly and “pushing” it to be heard properly, or to be able to have a longer speech flow.
Try to breathe with the bottom of your stomach by inflating it like a balloon, then gradually filling all the lungs from bottom to top. Can you feel the difference?
Why do we breathe badly?
Well, because we’re ill-mannered.
The fetus, in its mother’s womb, breathes in the right way, to train to catch oxygen when it comes out of its mother’s womb.
Only our culture has taught us that raising your shoulders up is synonymous with manhood.
Look at how the wolf inspires and blows on the house of the three little pigs! An enormous inspiration by bending the chest backwards, inflating only the top of the chest (lungs) and retracting the belly. What a terrible example of breathing.
In reality, the wolf would have had even less breath to make the houses of our friends, the three little pigs, fly away.
Third and INTERESTING rule: must talk about a subject you know and are passionate about!
Too many times, you do not prepare yourself, or prepare badly for your speech. The result is poor performance: white, stress, forgetting certain passages, lack of confidence.
Repeat your presentation as many times as necessary to understand its essence.
Repeat the “Italian” style by repeating your presentation partially or completely, quickly and without conviction to perfectly integrate everything you want to say.
Put your ideas on paper, order them, structure them and then rework them to deepen them.
Work on your gestures and posture, as well as your voice. Find in your speech the key elements you need to
highlight and emphasize. Either with the help of a Powerpoint, or by pressing it with your voice and
Face the mirror to rehearse while concentrating your eyes. As in weight training, mirror is not normally made to fill your ego and make your narcissist, but to watch the quality of the execution of movements. Do the same to prepare your presentations.
Work on your look! Force yourself to look your interlocutors in the eye. There’s nothing worse than a speaker not looking at us.
Indeed, looking someone in the eye when you talk to them shows that you are really and completely speaking or listening to them. That we are totally willing to talk to him and/or listen to him.
Practice focusing your eyes in the mirror. Then try to look into the eyes of the people you meet or talk to on the street to train.
Fourth and ALTERNATIVE rule: you have to tell stories to captivate your audience!
Many people ask me what to say during their presentation. I simply answer them: “Tell them about yourself!”
Not talking about you at certain times would be a huge mistake. Indeed, you are standing in front of your audience to convey a message, to inspire them. A good way to convince them and catch their attention and tell them stories, drawn from your life, your passions and your experiences.
The audience loves these kinds of “crispy” stories, full of interesting anecdotes, inspiring and even humorous. But don’t lose sight of your subject by leaving in unframed speeches.
Don’t talk about yourself, to talk about yourself. Your audience will think you are a first-rate narcissist and will not even try to listen to you, let alone follow you in your ideas.
Remember those storytellers who praised the heroes of mythology, travelling to distant lands, facing fierce monsters like sphinxes or cyclopses in their path.
Why do you think these storytellers were so successful? Because they were telling stories.
The power of stories is incredible because it allows your audience to immerse themselves in their imagination.
Play with your audience’s imagination. Make it return to childhood, or by telling about moments common to all. Indeed, when you tell stories you activate areas in your audience’s brain that capture their attention.
Comedians have a monster success with their sketches, because they manage to transcribe moments of daily life on stage in which we all find ourselves.
Who hasn’t had their socks wet when they got out of the shower? Or his sandwich that breaks his face when you take a bite?
All these themes, these little moments of life are moments that comedians love to tell their story in their sketch. In addition to that you will add a little humour to your speech, which is always a huge plus. But be careful not to abuse it.
Use this principle in your public speaking and you will be sure to capture the attention of your audience.
Fifth and SERENE rule: You must be sure of your success!
An impeccable state of mind !!!!!
You’ve probably heard that little hyper-negative inner voice before that rots your life and health, haven’t you?
That little voice whispering to you
“You’re not going to make it!”
“You’re not cut out for this” “You’re a piece of shit”! And I’ll go on and on!
Well, the more you say that to yourself, the more you will enter into a negative dynamic and the less you will take
will be successful.
Our language determines our minds. That is, everything we say to ourselves can have a significant impact on our mind/body. But it can also have a positive impact on it. I suggest you take a test.
Stand up, anchor your feet firmly in the ground. Take a deep breath. Then close your eyes. Then repeat this sentence in your head with as much conviction as possible: “I hate myself!”
What do you feel?
Take a second breath again, then do the same thing again immediately afterwards by repeating yourself: “I love myself and I think I’m wonderful!” Always with as much conviction as possible!
Did you feel the difference? This NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) technique is a test to make you aware of the importance of using words on our mind, but also on our body.
Indeed, did you feel your body collapse? Like you want to curl up on yourself? You didn’t have a smile on your face. You may even have felt a sense of unease.
On the other hand, when the positive suggestion was made, your body should have straightened up and you probably started smiling. This is how words can affect our mood, our body and our daily lives.
Practice Coué’s positive suggestion method by repeating positive and motivating sentences! The more you repeat these sentences, the more confident you will be of your success!
In another circumstance: Stop talking about yourself! Address your audience!
Many times I have been able to attend distinguished speakers on complex topics. Whether in the hard sciences (maths, physics…) or soft sciences (marketing, communication…). Emeritus for their functions and research, but far from it for their communication and public speaking skills.
Indeed, instead of talking to us directly, they did not involve us in the presentation at all by only speaking.
of themselves and their realization.
A quote says that “the only thing that interests your interlocutor is himself”. Why don’t you talk about them? Or at least, as part of a presentation to an audience, be interested in them, involve them in your speech. Because on the other hand, you’ll look like a first-class boaster and nothing else.
If public speaking were to be considered an adventure, the hero must certainly not be you, but your audience. Cherish it at all costs, for it has every right.
Indeed, between you and the public there is an invisible border, “the fourth wall” that delimits your power over the public. If it decides to leave the place, or if the tall brown decides to pick up his girlfriend next to him, you can’t help it! The public has all the rights and you have none.
The low-level speaker has to police himself to be respected. The true speaker, on the other hand, gives everything he has inside him, deploys all these techniques of communication and public speaking to get the attention of his audience.
Indeed, both attention and applause are things that are earned through your efforts on stage. Because the better the speaker is and seeks to be good, the more he will be listened to and appreciated.
“The salary of a speaker are the applause he harvests”
Sixth ESSENTIAL rule: You must continue….
You only become good by practicing again, again and again!
Any opportunity is good to take!
Whether at the table with your family, at the restaurant with friends, or at work in meetings, take the floor! Give your point of view! Argue it with facts! The more you try, the better you can do it.
I wish you one thing, it’s to screw yourself up miserably.
As much as possible!
Because it is through our mistakes that we learn and really improve. Fuck it up as much as you can, analyze what didn’t work, draw conclusions, test it, then try again!
It is said that in skiing, those who learn the fastest are those who fall the most. Because you have to fall to learn.
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